Category Archives: unmotivation

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Today, I woke up in a bad mood.  This happens (with relatively decreasing frequency these days, I will admit) for no good reason, or for any reason at all, actually.  This bad mood eventually culminated in my sitting on the bed, laptop off, staring into space and being miserable.  And then letting JJ and a good friend of mine know just how bad a mood I was in.  It was JJ who provided the most useful response, to go for a walk down one of the nearby streets to have a look at the shops I haven’t properly looked at before.

And it made me feel a bit better, but now I’m right back down to feeling crap and I just can’t shake it.

I’m thinking calorie counting can go jump today.  I really just can’t be bothered, especially when we have practically no food in the house anyway.

Whatevs.

Struggletown

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Sometimes (and it’s becoming more often lately, which is odd), I just…lose it.  Something insignificant will happen, followed by something irritating, and then BAM.  I’m a raging mess with no idea why I’m even raging so I make up things to rage about and make myself sad.

One of the hardest things about my calorie counting is living with someone who doesn’t.  Someone who not only doesn’t, but doesn’t even need to.  They can eat whatever the heck they want and still be fitter than I am.  It’s especially difficult to deal with on days when I haven’t exercised and my calorie intake is at its minimum limit.  Especially when I’m pretty sure that I’ve gone over my limit.

And  especially especially  when I haven’t seen results in so long.

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Difficult week

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This week…has not been great, sadly.  A combination of pushing myself too hard at the gym (I’m a silly girl), the impending end of semester and a 24 hour nausea-dizzy thing meant that yesterday I got home from the shops, cut myself a large piece of hedgehog slice and crawled into bed to watch a few hours of Toddlers and Tiaras.

Yep.

I think my brain had just had enough.  Enough calorie counting, enough with the exercise programs, enough with the study, enough with restricting myself…ENOUGH.  So it collapsed in on itself and I ate hedgehog and did no study.

Today was a little better (still too sore to go the gym, so I’ll leave my next workout for next Monday).  I managed 3 gym sessions this week, and I’ll be working on the weekend (which means a 20 minute ride both ways to work), plus cycling to class and work during the week…yeah, I think my exercise will be okay.  And I’ve managed to do some study (slooooowly working my way through a Grammar assignment which will hopefully be mostly done by the end of the night), but…it’s slow going at the moment.

And I’m terrified of hopping on the scales on Monday.

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Week 7

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Yesterday I ran in the rain!  I admit, I didn’t realise it was raining when I stepped outside the door, but once I had…well, I was already dressed!  May as well suck it up and do it.

So out I went and completed W4D2 of C25K (acronyms yay!).

Plus nothing beats the feeling of coming inside from being COMPLETELY drenched and jumping into a nice hot shower.  Then scrambled eggs NOM (to clarify: I did not jump into the scrambled eggs).

Last night and this morning haven’t been so great.  A combination of PMS (whee) and 3 exams (whoo) next week have left me decidedly miserable.  Especially because,

A) I don’t think I’ll have the marks for honours, and

B) I don’t really want to do honours, because

C) I am not enjoying my major AT ALL.

So I guess it kind of balances, but it would have been nice to have the option.  Especially because a couple of people have said, ‘OH, YOU SO SMART, YOU’LL GET H1S NO PROBLEM LOL’.  So I feel like I should live up to this uber-intelligent opinion people have of me.

Either that or be coy about how I go.  Or lie.  I should probably lie.

So what I am hoping is that potential employers look at my resume and think, ‘Wow!  B.A/B.Sc from unimelb!’ and not actually delve deeper and see that it took me nearly 7 years to do (it’s meant to take 5) and that my results look like some kind of crazy rollercoaster (fail, H1,near fail, H1, not so good mark, H2A, okay mark, H1…).

So yes.  Miserable.  Until Thursday afternoon/night, at which point sorrows will be drowned and life proper can begin again.

And this afternoon, a run.  W4D3, bring it on!

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